It’s that time of year again. The time of fresh spring blooms, poppies everywhere and of course, new taxes. Despite projecting a $21 billion surplus, the California Legislature has introduced several new taxes and fees.
A soda tax. The Legislature apparently thinks you need a little help in the parenting department. They’ve introduced a new tax on soda in the hopes that you’ll mend your toxic ways and stop buying soda. This tax is being proposed to “help fight childhood obesity and diabetes,” as if soda is the sole cause and not the endless hours spent in front of a screen playing Fortnite. And just in case a tax on soda doesn’t keep you from buying it, they also plan on banning all drinks with any amount of sugar from being placed in those mini-fridges at the check-out stand. Because there’s no way you’d ever walk to the soda aisle, right?
A tire change tax. Californians have some of the longest commutes in the nation and on some of the worst roads, but that’s a topic for another day. Considering the numbers of tires that roll down California’s potholed roads and that have to be replaced every year, I suppose it’s surprising they’ve waited this long to slap another tax on. Fun fact: the money from this tax won’t even go towards roads. That would at least be logical, but we frown upon that sort of high and mighty thinking.
A water tax. When you turn on your faucet, instead of water, imagine dollar bills flowing from it. Endless dollar bills. The legislature wants to tax your drinking water, permanently, to pay for water district improvements in various areas of the state. Do you remember voting for that water bond in 2014 to pay to build more water storage? It passed and five years later we haven’t built a single reservoir to store the 18 billion gallons of water that fell from the skies this past February alone. Call me cynical, but somehow I suspect the water district improvements will get done about the same time the reservoirs get built.
But wait there’s more.
There’s also a new tax proposal on all services. Need to get your haircut? Factor in a tax. Have to change your oil? Factor in a tax. Need an eye exam for new glasses? Tax. Your pants hemmed? Tax. Unwanted snakes removed from your yard (not the government kind, the less venomous ones like rattlers)? Yep, a new tax. Need someone to prepare your tax returns? You guessed it, a tax.
And last but not least, the new tax on firearms. I know you’re saying, “but I already pay a tax on that type of purchase.” Well, yes, you do. But since California hasn’t yet figured out a way to ban gun ownership altogether, they’ll settle for making it as expensive as they possibly can in the hopes you take up a different hobby, like say, finger-painting (with non-toxic, earth-friendly, organic, no animals were harmed in the making of this paint, type of paint of course).
Californians, you have paid so much in taxes that you have created a $21 billion surplus! The state has more of your money than it actually needs! So as a way of saying thank you, the state would like to…tax you some more.